This is the story of a man feeling his mortality, trying to make sense of his past and possibly his future as he receives the diagnosis of White Matter Disease. It records a year in the life of a writer fixed in history, doing his best to transcend life's challenges and achieve spiritual certainty. Haunted by a glamorous past and the love of his life who has died, it traces his mind's progress as he travels the world and his own internal geography. Along the way, he sustains a man's worst loss, that of his mother, and the next, his beloved dog, and the next, his financial underpinnings. Like everyone, he has his story. Like everyone, he has to work it out. Intelligence and a sense of humor keep him afloat, but ultimately love sustains him. A modest life, at times uncomfortably imperfect, but told with honesty, clarity and an aching desire, like everyone, to do and be more.This beautiful journal, that of a talented and sensitive poet illustrates the value of keeping a notebook as Joan Didion suggests: "I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise, they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind's door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends."